Rising Above

You ever scroll across someone’s social media feed and think to yourself, “This guy (or gal) has really got it going on!” The endless scrolling of everyone’s perfect life playing out before our eyes. We see the good great side of people. Rarely, if ever do we see the bad days in someone’s life posted publicly for all the world to see; therefore the people we see on social media have never had a bad day, right? [Insert sarcastic chuckle]
I’m here to tell you that I have fell victim to this. Well, not only have I fell victim to this… I have contributed to the problem.

I wish I could go back and post the struggles life has dealt me. Don’t get me wrong: Life is great. …but not every day is sunshine and pretty flowers. I’m human, I’ve made my share of mistakes and I’ve had people push me down on the very sidewalk of life I happen to be traveling at the moment.

So this is me, Mr Transparent.

I remember growing up as a kid listening to the old BearCat Electra scanner. Specifically the fire department in my town. As a kid is was like Christmas every time those tones went off. “Dee-Dum (static), Dispatch* to Engine Two, respond to….” Off I’d go like a rocket to the window. I grew up a half block from one of the fire stations in my town, so I had a front row seat to what was the best show on earth at the time. You could literally hear that old Detroit diesel fire up from the window. With a quick flip of the switch, the driver would flip the switch, activating the old red rotating lights, and off they’d go. Little did I know, I’d be the one flipping that switch one day…

Dorky little me!

Fast forward to my freshman year in college, I wanted to go into electrical engineering so I started off at my local community college. Still never growing out of listening to the scanner, I finally reached the age to join a local volunteer fire department, and I did just that. The rest is history… I ended my pursuit of electrical engineering and went into public safety. I was hooked. Sure, there is the adrenaline and excitement; but at the end of the day I really had a sense of fulfillment by helping those in need.

Not where it all started, but this was one of the two fire departments I volunteered for during my younger years.

Prior to really halting my electrician journey, I had one semester where I was taking electrical classes, working mid-day at a local electrical contractor, then taking my EMT (Emergency Medical Technician) classes at night. Once we complete any phase of EMT training, we have to take a test with the National Registry of Emergency Medical Technicians. This test was the one that gave us the qualification to be licensed in the State of Alabama, to practice as whatever level of EMT we were testing for. Barely did I pass, but I did.

The second I received my license in the mail I applied at a local ambulance service in town. Working there was great! I met new people, got to run some pretty gnarly calls, but it mostly fueled the desire to go another step…. Apply at a fire department. Check. Now… all I had to do was pass a physical test to be accepted into the fire academy. Easy right? No sir. This guy failed on his first attempt. Second attempt was a pass, but barely.

The fire academy was too tough; something I learned was really more of a mental game than anything. I guess I didn’t take the 1.5 mile run serious because you guessed it… fail. I was graciously given one more opportunity to pass the run, otherwise the academy was over. Luckily, I lit a fire under my ass and ran like hell. Still wasn’t a record setter, but I passed.

Photo of me during the Fire Academy. Circa 2007

The fire academy was something that overlapped with my paramedic training at the time. Fortunately, that overlap was only two weeks. It was fire academy during the day, and paramedic school at night. Each in their own county. Little bit of struggle, but we accomplished it. When the time came to test for paramedic registry, I scheduled the test and patiently waited. The day came, the test came, the passing score did not. Nor did it come the second time. Thankfully, I was able to have a passing score on my third attempt. Now… let me say this, I never claim to be a good medic, but there are definitely street smarts that this test doesn’t give us. It’s a good thing I picked up the street smarts when it came to my job, cause my testing skills were all but extravagant.

This was back in the day! Baby face and all!

“A leader of one can become a leader of many, but if you can’t lead one, you’ll never lead any.”

Continuing my career at the fire department, I worked a second job on the ambulance. The fire department was a melting pot of education: from firefighting, hazardous materials, medical… we covered it all. I wanted to do better as a paramedic, and this is something the transport environment gave me. When it was me on the truck, I had my EMT partner and snacks from the corner gas station. No other paramedic to hold my hand.

I worked at the fire department for 10 years, many of these were happy years, but many with some not so happy moments. About half way through my career there, I started having struggles. Little things, but things that added up to me becoming miserable at work. I wanted so bad to be a great leader, but as Frank Viscuso writes in his book Step Up and Lead, “A leader of one can become a leader of many, but if you can’t lead one, you’ll never lead any,” I wasn’t leading myself. I had to look in the mirror and make a change. If I’m going to lead, I need to put an effort to better myself. This kinda started my fitness journey, but it really ignited my desire to better my education in the fire service. I started looking for education opportunities and would request them with the Fire Chief. Unfortunately, after the class was approved for two attendees, the union ruled that seniority would take place on who attended the classes and bumped me from attending. Class after class I was booted by someone with a higher ranking. Occasionally, someone would sign up for the class and never attend, resulting in an empty spot that was too late to fill. This kept me from going. It was a struggle, but I kept my chin up and knew my day would come.

Working an Honor Guard detail during the fire service days.

Fast forward, I was able to attend classes in order to better myself and the community I served. Time went on, but my desire to continue this career was eventually ripped from its roots. I was alienated by several, had trash thrown over the wall to my room, cigarette butts thrown in my fire boots, cursed and screamed at; been told I’d never be good enough for _________(fill in the blank with whatever it was I wanted to accomplish…) . I kept quiet, cleaned up the mess, and carried about my day.
I finally gave up.

I look back now and remember that everything happens for a reason. At the time though, this was a failure in my life. Something no one, other than my wife and very close friends at the time, knew I was going through.

Long time ago when I was a reserve patrolman at the city I worked for.

During my time at the city, I was able to put myself through the police academy as a reserve patrolman. 13 months of weekend academy couldn’t come soon enough. I paid out of pocket to attend the academy; just something I had a desire to do. Something to help the community, and yeah… fuel that adrenaline tank. I remember the graduation ceremony, my family attended, but my leadership with the police department wasn’t there. It kinda bummed me out. I returned to the police department to find that the chief at the time wasn’t very fond of reserves, albeit certified by the state, I wasn’t allowed to exercise the duties of law enforcement to the fullest extent. Bummer. …but it gave me a reason to jump ship to my local Sheriff’s Office. Something I’m incredibly glad I did. (We’ll get to this in a second)

While at the Sheriff’s Office, I got the opportunity to interview for a spot with the Aviation Unit. Here goes this everything happens for a reason thing I speak of. I interviewed with the Chief Pilot, someone who has been very instrumental in my aviation life, and was able to jump in the open spot. I remember flying, asking questions, learning, flying more, asking way more questions…. Finally I started flight school (Airplanes.) I’m being perfectly honest when I say I did this to just fly airplanes for fun. At the time I had no idea I’d be later pursuing this career path.

Early days in the Aviation Unit.

The day came that I knew it would be my last at the fire department. I couldn’t take it any longer. It wasn’t a week prior to this that I had an offer to come to the Sheriff’s Office full time. I placed the call, hoping I wasn’t too late and that I could change my rejection of the same position I was offered a week ago. Fortunately, it hadn’t been filled.

“You’ll never be good enough for that.”

I really enjoyed working at the Sheriff’s Office, but full-time law enforcement didn’t fuel that emptiness I had from not practicing as a paramedic. I remember flying with the Aviation Unit one day. We hangared the helicopter and went to the office for a debrief. My pilot asked me, “Why aren’t you flying as a flight paramedic?” Well, in my mind, I thought I’d never be good enough to hold that position. Something I had been told at the fire department. It just always stuck in my head: “You’ll never be good enough for that.” I finally started asking around at what had to be done. Turns out lots of studying and another certification had to be obtained. I wound up studying for the exam and leaving the Sheriff’s Office full-time, to return to the ambulance in order to brush up my skill set as a Paramedic. …and study more. The day came for me to test! The day also came that I’d learn I had yet again failed another test. I was determined. I gathered some more study material from different sources in efforts to put all the pieces of the puzzle together. It worked! I was now a Flight Paramedic! Well… sorta. I had to get a job. At the time, we had a base in my community that had been established for many years. I knew these guys and they knew me. I wanted so badly to be part of this team! The good thing about most air medical companies are that they have many bases to pick from. A spot opened up at a base within my state and I applied, with hopes to transfer to my home area and be part of the team I had desired to work with. Application submitted, online exam taken, oral exam taken, interviewed…. no joy. Opening again, application submitted again, test taken again, interviewed again… no joy. I started to believe that maybe the fire guys were right… “You’ll never be good enough for that',” I kept telling myself. Turns out, this was one of those things that happened for a reason.

One of the happiest career times of my life; surrounded by great friends, mentors, and a good employer.

I found an open spot at a different company, but it was 170 miles from my home. Honestly at this point I didn’t care; I just wanted to fly. Boy am I glad this opportunity came up. I was accepted into a wonderful family of pilots, nurses, and medics. A work environment I could have only dreamed of having, now was a reality. It was just what I needed! It was the first time in my adult career life that I felt 100% acceptance by my peers. I was loved and encouraged by all my coworkers new family. Pinch me, I’m dreaming. It was real. Never would I have thought that driving so far away would have been just what I needed in my career life. The next three years were absolutely amazing. I had the pleasure of becoming part of an elite group of individuals that accepted me for who I was, lifted me up; encouraged me to grow and do better in life! Everyone there became family, especially my full time partner. To this day she’s like a sister to me.

Early days of flight training!

During my time at this base I started having an itch to build time as a pilot in order to be able to fly as a career one day. I knew that driving was taking 50 hours a month away from my time and that the fuel bill was keeping me from achieving that goal. I was so happy where I was and it was hard to make this decision, but I was presented the opportunity to move closer to home, to the base (now under a new company) I once desired to be at years ago. I will say that I lucked up. The culture at this base was exactly like the culture at my first base. The people are no different than my last base: I’m accepted, I’m encouraged, and a few of them actually like me. ;) lol

I’d love to say that this was the end of my struggles or life lessons, but it wasn’t. Something happened that once again offered a struggle in life: It was a situation where I stood up for what was unquestionably right, and I had support from every single one of my peers and immediate management. Unfortunately others at different levels of management didn’t see it this way. A safety concern that I delivered late, lead to my suspension without pay. I’ve never been written up, much less suspended. I guess go all out or don’t go at all, right? No pretty way to put this: we as a base didn’t feel safe about a situation we were placed in and we were all told to go home without pay if we refused to fly. A write up just for me followed 40 days after the incident, and a 6 hour drive to the home office for a 1 hour retraining course in our safety reporting system was in my future. It was a mess. I lost sleep, I stressed, I was literally sick over this. Safety is something that I am deeply rooted in. I realized my mistake to report the issue later than I should have, I even admitted fault the minute I spoke up, but things got real bad afterwards. The reaction, and blame placed on me and the entire crew that followed shook my entire being. I began blaming myself for what I thought was the right thing to do, even if late doing it. I made the mistake, but I’m glad I had my work family behind me throughout this entire process. Again, something [family] I don’t want to ever take for granted. Although it was difficult, I’m thankful for the situation. Would I handle things differently knowing what I know now? Absolutely. If faced with the same exact situation and unable to change the past would I still speak up over a safety concern, you bet. My decision could have saved a few lives and I like those odds. It made me stronger, it gave me experience, and I’m a better person because of it.

“Is what we see on the surface the foundation of one’s success?”

While scrolling across anyone’s social media you’ll see all the good things: accomplishments, friendships, family, white picked fence, etc. What you typically don’t see posted are the handful of struggles and failures I’ve written about. These are just a few benchmarks in my life that stick out. Benchmarks that honestly have made me a stronger person. If it wasn’t for my core group of friends, mentors, and my wife… my life would certainly be different. I look back now and am actually thankful for these life altering experiences. At the end of the day, they did more good than harm. Although they hurt like hell when they were happening.

I’ve had the pleasure of speaking to four different groups of high school students over the last year. Each group was presented with a story of my life, some of the struggles I’ve faced, and the things I did to overcome the bad situations life dealt me.

So we’ve got to ask ourself: Is what we see on the surface the foundation of one’s success? I’d say, certainly not. This goes for anyone that is “successful.” Let’s not forget too that “success” is subjective. Everyone’s story is different. People’s lives are different. Opportunities are different. Struggles are different. Never think that you’re not good enough to chase your dreams! Surround yourself with people that encourage you to do better and you’ll be able to move mountains!